President Bush is lying in bed at the White House one night when he is visited by the ghost of George Washington. Mr. Bush asks him if he could give him some advice.
"Set an honourable example, as I did." Replies Washington as he suddenly disappears.
Minutes later, Bush is visited by the ghost of Thomas Jefferson and asks him the same thing.
"Cut taxes and reduce the size of government, as I did." Says Jefferson as he disappears.
Next, he is visited by the ghost of Abraham Lincoln, and again, Mr. Bush asks him for some advice.
President Lincoln responds, "Go see a play!"
Two farmers are in a bar, and one says to the other, " I think my dog is gay"
"Why is that then?" the other one replied.
"Because his cock tastes like shit" he answered.
A spastic and his mate board a train. After a while, a girl in the opposing carriage jumps up and flashes her tits. The mate says to the spastic "That girl just showed you her boobies, quick show her your nuts". The spastic instantly gets up, looks at the girl and says "Uwamgyt wahmigjuut sthaieutry"
I went for a job interview as a Blacksmith yesterday, he said "Have you ever shoed a horse?"
I said "No, but I've told a donkey to fuck off."
Q. Why is the Bible like a penis?
A. You get it forced down your throat by a priest.
Women are like parking spaces, normally all the good ones are gone. So, occasionally, when no one's looking, you stick it in a disabled one.
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