| Ribbons of Blood comments | |
|
Posted by: |
Marklbetya (marklbetya@comcast.net) 02:26 am UTC 10/27/07 |
| First, I must say THANK YOU for sharing this with us, and it's an honor to have you ask for our opinions, even if you end up hating our suggestions. One thing for me, I think the repeated use of the word "the" takes away rather than adds to the image, especially in the beginning. Maybe it doesn't work as well with your music, but it was my first thought. I will decorate this city With Ribbons Of Blood I will find (the) endless tears Soon to be a flood I will conjure up (the) magic Far beyond your sight I’ll illuminate this city With (the) ascension of (the) light ...and all the death in the devil's playground and no mention of Hell? I thought this was a Steinsong :) Since we're conjuring up magic, you'd think we could "dream up a spell that escorts you through to hell" or some such thought. I do love the "tone" and feeling. So many "key" words that scream "This is a Steinman Song": Conjure, dark, "endless tears", ascention. Sounds like the kind of song you can hear and immediately say to yourself excitedly "THAT SONG WAS WRITTEN MY JIM STEINMAN!" I can't wait to hear the music you wrap around your words. Mark | |
| reply | | |
| Previous: | I take it you don't have kids... - Pudding 08:14 pm UTC 10/27/07 |
| Next: | My Turn - I'll Decorate This City In Ribbons of Blood - Willis 01:29 am UTC 10/27/07 |
| Thread: | |