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| re: OT: ok, bad form... | |
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Tremorlor 11:13 am UTC 08/11/08 |
| In reply to: | OT: Name - Tremorlor 11:06 am UTC 08/11/08 |
| ...replying to ones own post, but this is just too hilarious. Should Wizards First Rule be successful, it will likely spawn further seasons (each book one season or so). Now imagine this scene on TV: Hissing, hackles lifting, the chicken's head rose. Kahlan pulled back. Its claws digging into stiff dead flesh, the chicken slowly turned to face her. It cocked its head, making its comb flop, its wattles sway. "Shoo," Kahlan heard herself whisper. There wasn't enough light, and besides, the side of its beak was covered with gore, so she couldn't tell if it had the dark spot. But she didn't need to see it. "Dear spirits, help me," she prayed under her breath. The bird let out a slow chicken cackle. It sounded like a chicken, but in her heart she knew it wasn't. In that instant, she completely understood the concept of a chicken that was not a chicken. This looked like a chicken, like most of the Mud People's chickens. But this was no chicken. This was evil manifest. [...] Her power, her magic, was also a weapon of defense. But it would only work on people. It would not work on a chicken. And it would not work on wickedness incarnate. Her gaze flicked toward the door, checking the distance. The chicken took a single hop toward her. Claws gripping Juni's upper arm, it leaned her way. Her leg muscles tightened till they trembled. The chicken backed up a step, tensed, and spurted feces onto Juni's face. It let out the cackle that sounded like a laugh. She dearly wished she could tell herself she was being silly. Imagining things. But she knew better. [...] Kahlan frantically tried to think as the chicken bawk-bawk-bawked. [...] "Mother," the chicken croaked. Kahlan flinched with a cry. [... Kahlan knocks over a candle by mistake, plunging the barn into darkness] In the dark, the chicken thing let out a low chicken cackle laugh. It hadn't come from where she expected the chicken to be. It was behind her. "Please, I mean no harm," she called into the darkness. "I mean no disrespect. I will leave you to your business now, if that's all right with you." She took another shuffling step toward the door. She moved carefully, slowly, in case the chicken thing was in the way. She didn't want to bump into it and make it angry. She mustn't underestimate it. Kahlan had on any number of occasions thrown herself with ferocity against seemingly invincible foes. She knew well the value of a resolute violent attack. But she also somehow knew beyond doubt that this adversary could, if it wanted, kill her as easily as she could wring a real chicken's neck. If she forced a fight, this was one she would lose. [...] The chicken thing let out a whispering cackle. [... she's trying to find the door, she's crying and panicking, she stubs her toe and falls down.] With the next flash of lightning, she saw chicken feet standing between her and the crack under the door. The thing wasn't more than a foot from her face. [...] The beak pinched the vein on the back of her hand over her eyes. The chicken tugged, as if trying to pull a worm from the ground. It was a command. It wanted her hand away from her eyes. The beak gave a sharp tug on her skin. There was no mistaking the meaning in that insistent yank. Move the hand, now, it was saying, or you'll be sorry. If she made it angry, there was no telling what it was capable of doing to her. Juni lay dead above her as a reminder of the possibilities. She told herself that if it pecked at her eyes, she would have to grab it and try to wring its neck. If she was quick, it could only get in one peck. She would have one eye left. She would have to fight it then. But only if it went for her eyes. Her instincts screamed that such action would be the most foolish, dangerous thing she could do. Both the Bird Man and Richard said this was not a chicken. She no longer doubted them. But she might have no choice. If she started, it would be a fight to the death. She held no illusion as to her chances. Nonetheless, she might be forced to fight it. With her last breath, if need be, as her father had taught her. The chicken snatched a bigger beakful of her skin along with the vein and twisted. Last warning. Kahlan carefully moved her trembling hand away. The chicken-thing cackled softly with satisfaction. | |
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