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| re: 3 minute management course | |
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Markus 11:16 pm UTC 03/12/07 |
| In reply to: | 3 minute management course - Jsteinfan 10:50 pm UTC 03/12/07 |
| GREAT! :-) Good night Rockman. Markus. > Lesson 1: > > A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is > finishing up her > Shower, when the doorbell rings. The wife quickly wraps > herself in a towel > And runs downstairs. > When she opens the door, there stands Bob, the next-door > neighbour. > Before she says a word, Bob says, "I'll give you $800 to > drop that towel." After > Thinking for a moment, the woman drops her towel and > stands naked in frontof Bob. > > After a few seconds, Bob hands her $800 and leaves. > > The woman wraps back up in the towel and goes back > upstairs. When > She gets to the bathroom, her husband asks, "Who was > that?" > > "It was Bob the next door neighbour, " sh e replies. > > "Great!" the husband says, "did he say anything about the > $800 he owes me?" > > Moral of the story : If you share critical information > pertaining to credit > And risk with your shareholders in time, you may be in a > position > To prevent avoidable exposure > > > Lesson 2: > > A priest offered a Nun a lift. She got in and crossed her > legs, forcing her > Gown to reveal a leg. The priest nearly had an accident. > After controlling > The car, he stealthily slid his hand up her leg. > The nun said, "Father, remember Psalm 129?" The priest > removed his hand. > > But, changing gears, he let his hand slide u p he r leg > again. The > Nun once again said, "Father, remember Psalm 129?" > > The priest apologised "Sorry sister but the flesh is > weak." > Arriving at the convent, the nun went on her way. > > On his arrival at the church, the priest rushed to look up > Psalm 129. It > Said, "Go forth and seek, further up, you will find > glory." > > Moral of the story: If you are not well informed in your > job, you > Might miss a great opportunity > > > Lesson 3: > > A sales rep, an administration clerk, and the manager are > walking to lunch > When they find an antique oil lamp. They rub it and a > Genie comes out. The > Genie s ays, " I'll give each of you just one wish." > > "Me first! Me first!" says the admin clerk. "I want to be > in the Bahamas, > Driving a speedboat, without a care in the world." > > Puff! She's gone. > > "Me next! Me next!" says the sales rep. "I want to be in > Hawaii, relaxing on > The beach with my personal masseuse, an endless supply of > Pina > Coladas and the love of my life." > > Puff! He's gone. > > "OK, you're up," the Genie says to the manager. The > manager says, > "I want those two back in the office after lunch." > > Moral of the story: Alway s let your boss have the first > say > > > Lesson 4 > > An eagle was sitting on a tree resting, doing nothing. A > small rabbit saw > The eagle and asked him, "Can I also sit like you and do > nothing?" > > The eagle answered: "Sure, why not." > > So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the eagle and > rested. All of a > Sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it. > > Moral of the story: To be sitting and doing nothing, you > must be sitting > Very, very high up > > > Lesson 5 > > A turkey was chatting with a bull. "I would love to be > able to get to the > Top of that tree," sighed the turkey, "but I haven't got > the energy." > > "Well, why don't you nibble on some of my droppings?" > replied the bull. > They're packed with nutrients." > > The turkey pecked at a lump of dung, and found it actually > gave him > Enoughstrength to reach the lowest branch of the tree. The > next day, > After eating some more dung, he reached the second branch. > Finally after a > Fourth night, the turkey was proudly perched at the top of > the tree. > > He was promptly spotted by a farmer, who shot him out of > the tree. > > Moral of the story: BullS*** might get you to the top, but > it won't < BR>Keep you there > > > Lesson 6 > > A little bird was flying south for the winter. It was so > cold the > Bird froze and fell to the ground into a large field. > While he was lying > There, a cow came by and dropped some dung on him. > > As the frozen bird lay there in the pile of cow dung, he > began to realize > How warm he was. The dung was actually thawing him out! He > lay > There all warm and happy, and soon began to sing for joy. > > A passing cat heard the bird singing and came to > investigate. > Following the sound, the cat discovered the bird under the > pile of cow dung, and > promptly dug him out and ate him. > > Moral of the story: > > (1) Not everyone who shits on you is your enemy > > (2) Not everyone who gets you out of shit is your friend > > (3) And when you're in deep shit, it's best to keep your > mouth shut! > > This ends the 3-minute management course. | |
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