very well put,you realy cant add anything to that.cant wait to here the melody or even the first chords.
> Okay... My thoughts then... Remember Jim, you asked for
> it...
>
> Don't change the title? Please? I can see where all the
> other suggestions come from, but in reference to the
> lyrics this is so much stronger. It captures the essence
> better than the ribbons of blood. It also causes such a
> pleasant surprise when you find that the song itself is so
> much deeper than the title might predict.
>
> My fave part is definately the final section, because I
> love the conflict in it. It has a spooky sense of reality
> when the cause looses the fight without the fighters
> considering theirselves responsible. It also shows the two
> sides of reality, because it was Hook's Paradise that
> lost? But is it necessarily the only version? Does that
> mean that Pan's Paradise won?
>
> What I also seem to like more than the others is this
> section.
> Broken hearts
> Are the Devil’s Playground
> Shattered dreams
> Disillusioned youth
> And all of man
> Is the Devil’s Playground
> Shameless lies
> And Shameful truth
>
> I love how you sum up the broken hearts, shattered dreams
> and disillusioned youths to be all of man. I think there
> is a part in every person who recognizes at least one of
> this losses and that indeed part of every man is The
> Devil's Playground.
>
> The only thing I would change is removing 'the' from
> 'Thousand of tombstones, waiting for the names, just
> waiting for the names'. I think it makes the song even
> more disturbing if you don't specify whose blood, whose
> names... It makes it personal in the sense that people
> tend to make such intentionally impersonal implications
> all about themselves. It plays in perfectly with the
> selfish and egotistical nature of man.
>
>
> Last thing I would like to say is THANK YOU for this peek
> into your creative processes!
>
> Klasien
>
|
