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| Neverland & Smeg's Revamp | |
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Scaramouche 12:29 am UTC 05/18/08 |
| I’ve only ever briefly scanned Jim’s script for ‘Neverland’, but decided to digest more fully after reading Smeg’s ‘revamp’ (I’ll comment on both scripts as one). First off ‘Neverland’ is BIZARRE, and I think Jim must have been ‘chemically insane’, when he wrote it (if you know what I mean) LOL. Obviously based on Peter Pan but diluted, strained, remixed, distorted, maniacally twisted and finally molested into a weird and wonderful ‘thing’. Don’t ask me why, but throughout I had visions of Richard O’Brien circa The Crystal Maze (in the Industrial Zone of course) as Max/Hook, parachuted into Mad Max 3 with Tina Turner as Emily, Mel Gibson as Peter, and the lost tribe of kids as...well the lost tribe of kids (aka The Lost Boys & Golden Girls). The Historian steals the ‘show’, and I love his opening monologue, especially: ‘I am an historian. I have to keep reminding myself; something that hideous, you try to forget.’ Brilliant! I wonder if the ‘Historian’ is in the Bat show? I find the story is way too short, especially the second act, and certain parts don’t work for me, and need development: How did Peter get into Obsidian and ‘rescue’ Wendy so easily? Surely Max/Hook would have hundreds of guards? Why does Tink suddenly get upset after the ‘wedding’? The Manipulation: Clever, but too clever for it’s own good? Finale of Act 1 is a bit lame. Would they all give up that easily? Most of the songs fit/work to a certain extent, and I like all of Smeg’s insertions (whether they are in the right place or not, I’m not sure). Having said that, I think they ALL need a lyrical overhaul to work much better with this script, and whatever 'Bat' turns out to be. I find them all too ‘stand alone’, and although great on albums, a bit too vague in the context of the story? I think ‘It’s All Coming Back To Me Now’ would work well (in a new script) as the penultimate song; Baal returns to entice (the older) Wendy back to Neverland once more. The last song should be ‘We’re Still The Children We Once Were’, Wendy & Peter return to Neverland and are greeted by the Lost Boys & Golden Girls. To send the audience out on a less sombre note, you could encore (after the curtain calls) with a reprise of ‘Bat’ or maybe ‘Rock & Roll Dreams Come Through’ (eg - We Will Rock You doing Bo Rhap & Mamma Mia doing a medley; it seems to be the done thing nowadays)? I find it interesting that everyone has different choices from Jim’s catalogue, as to what should be in the show. I would certainly have ‘Faster Than The Speed of Night’, ‘Everything Is Permitted’ & especially ‘I’ll Kill You If You Don’t Come Back’... ‘Somebody bless all these girls that I never have met But damn you and curse you after all that you've done You're the one girl I’ll never forget, you're the one girl I’ll never forget... Somebody bless all these girls and everything that they do But damn me and curse me for still needing you, and I'll kill you if you don't come back’ These are such perfect lines for Peter (a soliloquy alone on the stage). During the coda, I can envisage all the different girls mentioned in the coda (cheerleaders, girls on the beach, shy girls, homecoming queens etc) all in relevant costumes, and slowly being spot lit as they are mentioned. Peter walks amongst them singing the song, but they remain static, staring out into the audience (almost like mannequins), as they are purely visions in his mind. As the song reaches its climax, Wendy is spot lit slightly higher up on stage (a statue on a pedestal), and the lights on the other girls fade. She is motionless (a vision in Peter’s head remember) and he sings the final lines on his knees (his hands in prayer), before finally bowing his head and stage goes dark. Anyway...where was I? Ah yes, Smeg... Real nice effort and your dialogue/song choices really integrate well into the script (apart from the Christian Video Dating stuff, which is naff). Sorry. To summarise, I don’t think ‘Neverland’ will be anything like ‘Bat’, as it is just too bizarre to get investment and be a commercial success. ‘Bat’ will have elements of ‘Neverland’, but a totally different story. In regards Jim giving you rights, I don’t think he will let you do a ‘Neverland’ until ‘Bat’ has been up & running for at least a couple of years? If he ever does give you certain rights, I think the script (albeit re-worked & condensed) could work best (bearing in mind your budget) as a 4-handed costumed cabaret (Historian/Pianist, Hook, Peter & Wendy), with maybe a keyboard player for backing? The ’77 script is dialogue heavy anyway, so no need for elaborate scenery (maybe just have the Bad For Good cover blown up as the only (cabaret) stage back drop, with ‘Neverland’ replacing ‘Bad For Good’, in the same font)? If you ever do it, maybe invest enough of the budget in getting a decent audio recording done (for the Rockman Crowd). ‘Keep on believing...!’ | |
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