| re: NJC: Things That End Badly | |
|
Posted by: |
John_Galt (g_brandon_martin@ureach.com) 05:06 am UTC 12/03/08 |
| In reply to: | NJC: Things That End Badly - Vin 05:09 am UTC 11/30/08 |
| This is awesome! There's much cleverness on multiple levels, but none of the cleverness is superfluous. Each line belongs in this poem because each is an idea, image, or ummm... concept that shows a different aspect of the theme. The voice is consistent throughout, as well. As I'm reading it I'm imagining a character who isn't just educating us from some happy, warm place, but instead expressing the kind of dark antipathy of the truly disappinted, and if this is musical theater stuff, I see this as an effective way of characterization. We can quickly understand what drives this person to do whatever they do or, more likely, refrain from doing... and when the melody is revisted later, we'll be able to experience this emotion in a different context with these words still echoing in our minds. Good stuff! -=John Galt=- > This is a song / poem I recently finished. Thought I'd > share here. Feedback appreciated. > > The Things That End Badly > > > > Once upon a time we had hope in our hearts > This world was as fresh and as bright as you please > The promise of life was a gift from the gods > We worshipped so blindly, never a thought > To the damage we do in the end to our knees > > These are the things that end badly > These are the things that end sadly and dark > These are the stories that bring tears to your eyes > And these are the endings that must surely > Break your heart > > Human ambition, Divine Intervention > A grasp that exceeds or falls short of your reach > The quest for perfection or stagnant contentment > A night in Las Vegas! A day at the beach! > > The hero’s adventure, the tyrant’s regime > The architect’s ego, the charlatan’s shame > The tears of a widow, the tears of a bride > Regardless of reason, sting the cheek all the same > > We’re the sons and the daughters of martyrs and madmen > The nieces and nephews of nobles and whores > We’re the children the gods of our fathers have long since > abandoned > And now that we know, we don’t care to go on > But we have to > Too scared not to > And we died, miserably, ever after > > Once there was a girl who had blood on her hands > Once there was a boy who refused to believe > Her lips were so salty, he tasted no venom > We love our illusions but pay little heed > To the truths we deny for the fictions we weave > > These are the things that end badly > These are the things that end nasty and cruel > To these awful conclusions there are no exceptions > And here comes the climax, dreadful indeed > Brutally proves the rule > > A kiss before dying, a wish on a star > That probably burnt out centuries before > The embrace of a loved one, as tight as you hold them > Sooner or later you’ll hold them no more > > The conception of life! The cry of a child! > A mother’s best hopes, a father’s worst fears > Graduations and weddings and subsequent funerals > Regret and nostalgia, the passage of years! > > But if birth can only end badly… > > Exactly! > > How can anything after end anything but??? > > We’re the distant descendants of kings and of cavemen > We count as our ancestors wizards and fools > But the torch that they passed us was too hot and too > bright to handle > For more than a moment, or stare at directly > But we looked and we touched > Too hard not to > And we burned and went blind, painful and slow, ever > after > > > | |
| reply | | |
| Previous: | NJC: Things That End Badly - Vin 05:09 am UTC 11/30/08 |
| Next: | re: NJC: Things That End Badly - Vin 03:53 pm UTC 12/03/08 |
| Thread: |
|