An attorney was sitting in his office late one night, when Satan appeared before him.
The Devil told the lawyer, "I have a proposition for you. You can win every case you try for the rest of your life. Your clients will adore you. Your colleagues will stand in awe of you and you will make embarrassing sums of money. All I want in exchange is your soul, your wife's soul, your children's souls, your children's children's souls, the souls of your parents, grandparents, and your parents-in-law, and the souls of all your friends and law partners."
The lawyer thought about this for a moment, then asked, "OK, so what's the catch?"
> A British ventriloquist visiting Australia, walks into
> a small village and sees a local sitting on his porch
> patting his dog. He figures he'll have a little fun.
>
> Ventriloquist: "G'day Mate! Good looking dog, mind if I
> speak to him?"
> Villager: "The dog doesn't talk, you stupid Pommie."
> Ventriloquist: "Hello dog, how's it going mate?"
> Dog: "Doin' all right"
> Villager: (look of extreme shock)
> Ventriloquist: "Is this villager your owner?" (pointing at
> the villager)
> Dog: "Yep"
> Ventriloquist: "How does he treat you?"
> Dog: "Real good. He walks me twice a day, feeds me great
> food and takes me to the lake once a week to play."
> Villager: (look of utter disbelief)
> Ventriloquist: "Mind if I talk to your horse?"
> Villager: "Uh, the horse doesn't talk either....I think."
>
> Ventriloquist: "Hey horse, how's it going?"
> Horse: "Cool"
> Villager: (absolutely dumbfounded)
> Ventriloquist: "Is this your owner?" (pointing at the
> villager)
> Horse: "Yep"
> Ventriloquist: "How does he treat you?"
> Horse: "Pretty good, thanks for asking. He rides me
> regularly, brushes me down often and keeps me in the barn
> to protect me from the elements."
> Villager: (total look of amazement)
> Ventriloquist: "Mind if I talk to your sheep?"
> Villager: "The sheep's a liar"
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