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| re: Im going to clear this up | |
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pidunk 06:10 pm UTC 05/23/07 |
| In reply to: | Im going to clear this up - rockfenris2005 05:20 pm UTC 05/23/07 |
> > Because I have to. I owe it to everyone. > > > Susan, > > > > Jim Steinman is the only reason I post on any boards these > > days. > > OK, when I wrote that, I had recently had a bad experience > on an internet forum. A friend of mine threatened that she > was going to slash her wrists and the moderators banned > the topic. She didn't really mean it seriously, and we all > got into a big argument over it. I was freaked out by it > later on. I mentioned this on the Rockman and Susan wrote > in about it, comparing the situation to her recent ban on > the Rockman. > > But I was very emotional when I wrote that letter. > > If it has anything to do with Jim it's the only > > reason I do. > > I don't feel that way at all. I am not that kind of > person. I was hugely passionate back then. I'd just been > through a horrible traumatizing relationship and I have > never gotten over it. People have been through worse but > it was my first time. I was very VERY passionate back then > and Jim's depicted that. But I am so much happier since > then > > Every one of his songs, or creations, have > > touched a part of my life that (I thought) could never be > > reached. He knows my deepest emotions (and secrets) and > > articulates them so eloquently. > > I still believe this. But I wouldn't put it this way now > > I am drawn to pay him > > back: and I've been doing it for years: listening to his > > music, singing it live, introducing it to all kinds of > > people. > > Yes, I feel compelled to pay him back. As does everyone > else who posts here and shares mp3s/etc. with fellow > Steinfans. And good on them for it > > Like it or not, Steinman's music has saved lives > > and enlightened others. > > I once got a letter from a person who was about to commit > suicide. They heard "For Crying Out Loud" and it stopped > them and changed their minds. I thought it was amazing how > music can do that to people. > > In my view, he falls under the > > category of a saint. > > All musicians who reach out to people fall under the > category of a saint, as do many people. Everyone's a saint > in some way, it's just they don't get recognized for it. > > A saint, in their lives, only saves > > about three people? to be classified a saint? Well Jim has > > saved thousands wiuth his music. > > As has John Lennon, Bob Dylan, Rodgers & Hammerstein, > Andrew Lloyd Webber and all of the others. > > So I go onto his board > > for the simple reasonto let him know I'm there and I > > appreciate it. > > Yes. > > > Other than that, I keep right away. The internet is a very > > scary place. That board I had told you about. I had forged > > some close (and intense) relationships with people from > > there. Then one little insignificant argument, when I was > > only sticking up for my friend, expelled me and made me > > out to be a 'narcissitic fascist'. > > Yes, I have explained this. > > If I still had the > > evidence I would sue their asses off. I would sue them for > > all the money this country's got. > > See how angry I was? I was so angry about the situation I > didn't realize what I was saying. My past can shock me, > some of the things I've said have thrown me off my chair. > And everyone says that about themselves. My good friend > was shocked to read a damning email she once sent me, in > tears that she could actually say some of that stuff. > Honestly. We had a huge conversation about it. > > They'd put this country > > in debt. To even think about it, I swear, makes me want to > > break stuff: scream and shout: attack people and go > > insane. It really really really angers and upsets me. The > > intnernet is a warped warped horrible world. > > God, look how passionate that sounds. That sounds so wrong > and awful. I would never even dream of doing that > > > > > Save for the collaborations I've made, and getting my > > voice out there (to where thousands of people can see from > > hundreds of destinations): the chatrooms and the boards > > are the worst place to be. > > It is when people like Susan prowl them and scare people. > And they are the worst place to be sometimes. But you have > to develop a thick skin. > > Take it form me, as a bit of > > advice: they don't know SHIT about you. These people have > > never met you. These people don't know a god-ddamn thing. > > As long as you are who you are, and you're happy with it, > > and you do your best to offer your contributions to this > > life: it does not matter what they think. And, in the end, > > I think if you did that (because he did it) at least JIm > > would be proud. And I gueess I'm happy to hear that you > > really do know him. I think he's amazing. > > You know what, damn it all, I still believe that. I hope > Susan believes that. But I also hopes she leaves me and > anyone else alone who she might be bothering. I'm sorry if > I offended her, but some of the things she's done and said > have offended, frightened and scared me in so many ways. > > > > I have come close, several times, to meeting him. I tried > > putting on several of his musicals out here, and I came > > very close to speaking with him in person about those. > > So what?? > > But > > I guess I would be in awe: dumbstruck: because Steinman's > > music, (but I guess like most music - except his is better > > IMO) has helped me in immense hard times. > > It helped me through that relationship. I've never HAD > hard times LOL > > > > > It's been a pleasure speaking to you and thanking you for > > understanding. > > > > Ryan > > Well, you didn't see what she said either. Perhaps Susan > should post her original message. Because all I saw was a > very comforting person, like an old woman, who seemed > really nice and cool to get advice from. Then all of a > sudden I have thousands of replies in my inbox and I'm > scared out of my pants. > > The original message: I am not attempting to participate in the board posts; but I look in from time to time, and I read your eloquent essay which touched me. I know that I am referred to as "the Susan thing" and I understand why. What else I understand is that, for lesser things you found your own samples of confusing behaviors on past boards. I never participated in any board before. My brother found the internet some years ago and used chat rooms to destroy his marriage; hence I did not feel any draw to them. So, I once tried to make his experiences a little bit more constructive and then he just complained that I was cramping his style, being in the same room as his attempts to pick women up. And he didn't represent his interests in any other way. I had a really bad taste in my mouth from that point. I went onto an Avon Representative board when I started a business some years ago and found people using it to complain about things, and it was very depressing to read. It didn't help me and my business at all, so I didn't feel the need to continue with it. My business did well, without the sisterhood, such as that may have been. Jim Steinman is someone whom I listen to and wonder how God put such genious into the world in our lifetimes; but, for many years I didn't know that I actually knew him. His secretiveness took levels of magnitudes higher than one might fathom; and he told me, that once I knew, the secret is mine to keep or give away, as I saw fit. I see reasons to share. I was impersonated, spammed, argued against, ridiculed, and in the end which I realized I had to accept, I was met with a dispute that was the sibling rivalry equivelant of the clash of the titans, but, I am, as I said to Jim, a lillipution. I see that you are sincere in your affection for Jim. And I want to tell you that I appreciate that. Sincerely, Susan | |
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