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| re: Mastubation debate | |
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pidunk 12:53 pm UTC 05/22/07 |
| In reply to: | re: Mastubation debate - LordRahl 09:39 pm UTC 05/20/07 |
> Hahahah, almost correct. She was checking her email and I > didnt close a page which featured some interesting > situations with girls and feet and well the rest can be > left to the imagination. > > Basically the problem is that she thinks these girls take > me away from her, keep me from performing when the time > comes around, stuff like that you know. And in all > honesty it is really a bad habit that I havnt been able to > quit (the problem of going through a long time with no > girlfriend I guess). > > But I told her that it isnt like I am cheatin on her, and > we havnt had that many problems with performance etc. I > dunno, I just think that it is something people do > sometimes and shouldnt be seen as hurting the > relationship. > > Sigh, > A.G. > A.G., You by now would have read my posts on the subject...so you know that I am not going to give you an encouragement but what I hope I could do is to give you a perspective. What I assume is that you are young, in your early twenties, and have not had alot of experience with the heavier aspects of what relationships demand. Unfortunately, the adage about girls maturing before the guys is true at this stage as well, because when a guy is not caring for the girl's needs, she has a greater awareness of how she feels, than the guy has about what he feels. And so it is not in the intentions but in the communications where problems arise. Porn is something that was created in proportion to the abilities of media to produce it. While this porn has grown, so has the ability of society to fulfill the emotional needs of its members decreased. Coincidence? I don't think so. In the case of how it effects a couple such as yourself and your girlfriend, is the most acute example of such a breakdown. She has her feelings, you have yours, and the issue would not exist if porn did not exist. The role of looking at women walking, and looking at women in pictures, dressed or naked, does take away from the level of intimacy that one could share with a female partner. It does because the energy expended on the interest in the looks of those women, is energy that was not expended on the girl you are involved with....and hence, the involvement is lessened. The highest form of love is the benevolent obsession, that obsession that is within concensual bounds within the relationship, yet is an obsession. It is hardly obsessive, if you can leave it for the pleasures of another woman, be she on the street or in media. | |
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