| NJC: How Gay I Am | |
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Posted by: |
Vin 03:28 am UTC 05/06/10 |
| I don't usually write novelty lyrics, but I wrote this a while back just for fun and thought it was appropriate for posting given the recent discussion about the degree to which Jim's male fans are, or aren't, gay. How Gay I Am Well you dropped my jaw to the floor last night When you told me you thought I liked boys. I just couldn’t figure out how I gave you that impression. And not that I owe you anything But before its my next turn to sing I’ll offer you this mostly true confession Now I own a few shirts in colors you wouldn’t call manly, And now and again I dance with my hands above my head. I own a Streisand hits CD I appreciate “Sex and the City” But I’ll show you how gay I am when I get you in bed. Back in the day I may have played with my sister’s Barbies. As a kid I thought “Super Bowl” meant the handicapped stall. I played third lead in my Second Grade play, Dressed up like Lord Byron on Poetry Day, But I showed Suzy how gay I am Three times in study hall. These days I read the Sears catalog for the home goods section. My own two eyes are as queer as this straight guy needs. I watch quite a bit of the Lifetime channel I prefer mohair to denim or flannel But you’ll see how gay I am when we do the deed. Now Tori Amos dominates my iPod, But Sondheim’s represented there pretty well, too. I’m offended by pornography, I like Yankee Candles and potpourri, But you’ll know just how gay I am When I make angry love to you. Hey please don’t be embarrassed now, I don’t mind that you opened your mouth And stuck your foot right in like you were doing the Hokey Pokey. I’m a pseudo-intellectual And a little bit metro-sexual And now I’m off to do Shania karaoke. | |
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