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| re: Mastubation debate | |
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Klasien 02:06 pm UTC 05/22/07 |
| In reply to: | re: Mastubation debate - pidunk 04:13 pm UTC 05/21/07 |
| you are easily ruined then? I could tell you things about being exposed to porn that could litterally land people in jail, still I manage to be loving, warm, ocmpassionate, open, confident and close to the man I love. I even managed to have a kid... and am looking forward to the possibility of more offspring. Life is not what happens to you but what you make of it. I agree that porn is not a good thing, especially not those types that involve forcing others into doing whatever you want them to, but I can certainly see how the complete stranger thing can be a big help. It is a safe way of having sex? Because the other will never know your need for them? Will never expect more than you are willing to give? They are not real so they can be anything you want them to be... K. who thinks it is funny that someone who has such strong feelings about a topic cannot even spell it correctly... > > > > I'm not ususally one to question why someone would bring > > up masturbation on RR - as i'm usually the wanker on the > > list - but to this thread i say WTF??? > > > > Women & Men both masturbate - most people probably > > continue to do so while in a serious relationship. > > Personally i think release is always a good thing. Daily > > release is best! > > > > Like a wise man once said: > > > > "You don't have a lot, but it's all that you've got > > And you can turn it into more than it seems > > Just give it a shot, fantasize every movement > > And imagine every inch of your dream > > > > No one said it had to be real > > But it's gotta be something you've been wanting to feel > > now" > > > Ah! I was looking for a decent segue into this topic. > There are two components: 1)Porn, and 2)Masterbation. It > seems that the emphasis fell to the latter, when I would > have actually expected it to have been the former, as I > was watching people posting. These are separate in my > thinking, 100%, and one could look at porn without > masterbating, or masterbate without looking at porn, and > masterbate while looking at porn, and the most > controversial is the third of these options. > > I was exposed to porn while on a babysitting job, when the > couple who were out had some in a nighttable I curiously > looked into. I was exposed to porn when some fourteen year > old friends found a dirty book and started reading parts > of it and passing it around laughing. I was exposed to > porn when one adolescent boyfriend wanted to bring it into > the relationship. I suppose he masterbated while looking > at it but he had issues. I don't think I've seen a need > for porn in a relationship that was healthy. Dr. Ruth > Westheimer would most undoubtedly disagree, but I don't > actually consider her to be very healthy. > > I felt that my exposure to porn ruined me, ruined my > ability to be warm, close, compassionate, open, and > confident in the dynamics between a man and a woman, where > the woman had to be myself. My definition of these things > involve the focus on the man in the presence, the man that > I am with, without thinking of the images I ever saw > before; My definition of these things involves being able > to look at people in a casually social way without > remembering the images I've seen of strangers naked for > all the world including myself to see. I hated the porn I > remembered, and sometimes had trouble forgetting the porn > I hated. > > I was exposed to the concept of masterbation before I even > knew what sex was. Some girl who was more developed for > her age was talking in a group of girls about her sexual > relationship with her boyfriend, and she brought it up. > She said she thought she masterbated when she was not sure > about her feelings for her boyfriend. And when I finally > grew into a woman, I learned that masterbation has nothing > to do with insufficiency....it has to do with plenty. > > If porn was healthy, it would not be packaged in the ways > that it gets packaged. Our bodies are the outer shells of > our souls, and our nakedness is something that is either > seen as a natural state such as by nudists, or as > something to be kept private betweeen trusting adults. > That is, trusting adults who do not need to see the naked > sexual parts of complete strangers, who have no > resemblances to the ones they love. > > A big old IMHO on that. > > | |
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